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Humorous Jokes 1 82

Wish and ye shall receive:
A RVing couple, both born the same year and month, were celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been so loving she would grant them each one wish.

Very excited, the wife said that since she had already visited most of North America in her RV she would like to visit Europe. The fairy waved her magic wand; airline tickets instantly appeared in her hand.

Then it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said with a sly look, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand, and presto, he was 90.
 

 
Mistaken identity:
A dog was resting in a campground and an RVer was reading nearby on a lawn chair.

"Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" a recently arrived camper asked. The RVer looked up over his newspaper and replied, "Nope."

Yet when the camper approached the animal, it began snarling and growling, and then attacked his legs. After pulling away from the crazed animal, he yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"

The RVer muttered, "Ain't my dog."
 

 
The good ol' days:
A couple of elderly RVers who'd recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary were sitting on the sofa in their Airstream motorhome, when the wife said, "Dear, do you remember how you used to sit close to me?" He moved over and sat close to her.

"Dear," she continued, "do you remember how you used to hold me tight?" He reached over and held her tight.

"And," she went on, "do you remember how you used to hug me and kiss me and nibble on my ear?" With that, her husband got up and started to walk toward the rear of the motorhome.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "Well," answered the husband, "I have to get my teeth."
 

 
The parrot that wouldn't shut up:
Ray, an RVer from Omaha, travels in his motorhome with a talkative but foul-mouthed parrot. One day in a campground near Gila Bend, Ariz., the bird's swearing got to be too much. So Ray grabbed it by the throat and yelled "Stop it!" But only minutes later, the bird was swearing again.
 
The next day, the bird yelled so loudly that the couple next door in a big fifth wheel stopped by to demand its silence. Desperate, Ray locked the bird in a kitchen cabinet. But it didn't help: the bird kept right on swearing. The next day, the bird was even worse. So, as a last resort, Ray tossed it into his spacious Dometic freezer. After five minutes, all was quiet. Worried the bird might be freezing, Ray took it out. "I'm sorry," confessed the suddenly polite bird. "I promise to never swear again."
 
Ray was astonished. He couldn't understand the change in attitude.

"By the way," asked the parrot, "what did the chicken do?"
 

 
Saved by her Winnebago:
A young, pregnant RVer named Sally was involved in a traffic accident, but because she was riding in a sturdy Winnebago, she survived, although she was left in a coma. When she awoke a few days later in the hospital she was no longer pregnant! She asked her doctor, "What happened?"

He replied, "Sally, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. Your brother named them for you."

"Oh, no!" shrieked Sally. "Not my brother! His elevator doesn't go to the top floor, if you know what I mean!" The doctor replied, "Well, Sally, your brother named your daughter Denise."

"Whew, that's not so bad," she replied, looking very relieved. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew," he said.