Stupid Tourist Questions:
There's no such thing as a stupid question. Right? Not if you ask the National Park rangers who compiled this list of actual questions asked by park visitors.
At Grand Canyon National Park:
"Was this man-made?"
"Is there an elevator to the bottom?"
"Do you light it up at night?"
"Is the mule train air-conditioned?"
"Where are the faces of the presidents?"
At Carlsbad Caverns National Park:
"How much of the caves is underground?"
"So whats in the unexplored part of the cave?"
"Does it ever rain in here?"
"So what is this, just a hole in the ground?"
"How many ping pong balls would it take to fill it up?"
At Everglades National Park:
"Are the alligators real?"
"Are the baby alligators for sale?"
"When does the two o'clock bus leave?"
At Yosemite National Park:
"What time of year do you turn on Yosemite Falls?"
"What happened to the other half of Half Dome?"
At Alaska's Denali National Park:
"What time do you feed the bears?"
"How often do you mow the tundra?"
"How much does Mount McKinley weigh?"
At Mesa Verde National Park:
"Did people build this, or did Indians?"
"Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
"Why did they build the ruins so close to the road?"
A motorhome broke down along the freeway one day, so the driver eased it over onto the shoulder of the busy road.
He jumped out of his driver side door, walked around his rig and opened the door to the coach itself. Out popped two men in trench coats.
The men stood behind the motorhome and immediately opened up their coats, exposing themselves to the passing traffic. The result was one of the worst pile-ups in the road's history.
Later, when questioned by an angry highway patrolman why he put two deviates along the side of the road, the RVer replied, "I was broken down, so I just used my emergency flashers!"
A police officer near Corpus Christi, Texas, had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeding cars and RVs. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, and the officer soon learned why: A 10-year old boy was standing up the road a quarter mile with a large hand-painted sign that read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another 10-year old boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign that read "TIPS." At his feet was a bucket-full of change.
Many RVers will identify with these "laws of nature"
"OLD" is when your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Honey, I can't do both!"
"OLD" is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
"OLD" is when a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door
"OLD" is when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
"OLD" is when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
"OLD" is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
"OLD" is when "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.
"OLD" is when "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
"OLD" is when "all nighter" means not getting up to potty !
His wish was granted:
There was an RVer named Art from Portland, Ore., who stumbled upon a Genie in a bottle who granted him one wish. Art said, "I want to explore the big island of Hawaii in my motorhome, but I can't afford to send it there by ship. So my wish is that you to build a road from the coast of Oregon to Hawaii." The Genie replied, "I'm sorry, but that is too difficult. The length and the depth of the ocean would make that task impossible, even for a Genie like me. So you must make another wish." Art quickly replied, "Okay, I never could understand women. I want to know 'How do they think and what do they really want?'" The Genie paused for a moment, deep in thought, and then replied, "Do you want that two lanes or four?"