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Humorous Jokes 4 85

The RVer's fishy story:

An RVer named Stanley was stopped recently by a game warden in Northern California as the RVer was returning to his Roadtrek motorhome with a bucket full of still-alive fish. "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" the game warden asked.

The man replied, "No, sir. These are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?" the warden asked. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these fish down to the lake where I'm camped and let them swim around for awhile. When they hear my whistle, they jump right back into the bucket and I take them back to the motorhome."

"That's a bunch of baloney," the game warden said as he reached for his pad of citations.

The man looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "If you don't believe me, then follow me back to the lake to see how it works."

Still suspicious, but curious about the man's proposal, the game warden agreed. And to they walked to the lake.

There, the man poured the fish into the lake, where they disappeared into the water.

"Okay," said the game warden. "Call them back."

"Call who back?"

"The fish," replied the warden.

"What fish?" asked the man.

 

 
His time was up:

An elderly  RVing couple was celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary with a party at their fifth wheel trailer. Arriving guests noticed that the old man was crying, and found his overwhelming emotion touching.

The wife, too, noticed. "Why are you crying?" she asked.

'"Do you remember the night we were kissing on your parents front porch?" he asked.

"Yes, dear," she replied. "I'll never forget it." Dad came outside and told me to get inside immediately."

"Well, after you went inside, your dad told me a few things. He said he was the judge in town and that he could kill me and get away with it . Or, he said, he could send me to jail for 50 years. He said my third choice was to marry you."

"I see," said his wife. "But why are you crying now?"

The man began to sob. And then, gaining his composure, he said, "I'd be getting out today."

 

 
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: "Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce."

Watson says: "I see millions of stars, and even if a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life." Holmes replies: "Watson, you idiot. Somebody stole our tent."
 

 
Nasty bikers and the RVer:
Imagine three of the nastiest outlaw bikers you've ever seen or heard of, all riding shiny chromed chopped Harleys with dinky gas tanks. These are the kind of guys that give motorcycling a bad name. They stink, their hair is unkempt, their clothes are greasy, and they're rude.

Anyway, these three desperados pull into a roadside cafe where there's no one there except a RVer and a waitress. They decide to have some fun with the RVer, so they put on their most trucculent sneers and walk up to his table.

The first one dips his finger into the man's coffee, stirs it a bit and puts the finger in his mouth and pronounces "This is lousy coffee".

The next one picks up the RVer's soup bowl, sniffs it, spits into it and says "This is lousy soup".

The last one picks up the RVer's hamburger, squeezes it to a pulp and announces "This is a lousy hamburger".

The RVer quietly gets up, politely pays his bill and walks out. The lead desperado turns to the waitress and says "That guy ain't much of a man, is he?"

The waitress pauses and deadpans "He ain't much of a driver either ... he just backed over three motorcycles on his way out of here."
 

 
Guaranteed privacy:
To get away from their high-stress jobs, a couple decided to spend weekends relaxing in their motor home. But after finding their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."